This is my Journal, there are many like it, but not that many that like it :P

45 or so points to take aboard (give or take a few of them)

deathstardom@msn.com — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 19:17:23 GMT

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God
never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is
up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no
for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will
this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did
or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come.

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

I'd like to give credit to Regina Brett

To fat to die

deathstardom@msn.com — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 03:38:12 GMT

thought this might amuse a few select people ;)

(if it works you should understand ;)

Stollen time from Matt

deathstardom@msn.com — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 16:43:11 GMT

What is one thing you would love to happen tomorrow?
Get my arse to Darkside Of The Lune to shake my booty

What does the 4th text message in your inbox say?
Good Morn. Just checkin u didn't crash at 100mph. or at all really

What last aggravated you?
Banks and money

Do you have unlimited texting?
Not sure

When did you last see your ex?
Weds 29th

Do you think too much or too little?
I tend to over analyse.

How many hours did you sleep last night?
about 10 and I feel better for it

Tell me about the shirt you are wearing?
It's a combichrist T that I got from Birmingham

What's on your bedroom floor right now?
a mess (its in my to do list)

Who was the last person in your bedroom?
me, other than me I cant remember

Is there something you wish you could tell someone but you can't?
Not really, it would just cause confusion

Are you picky about who you give your number to?
Only friends get my number from me

Do you have any Jordan's or Matt's in your cell phone?
yes.

Do you hate any of your ex's?
Only if they piss me off

Do any of your ex's hate you?
thats almost a certainty

Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii?
At the moment I'll go anywhere

Who did you last talk to on the phone?
Via Text spekkaaahh, voice John

Who has texted you in the past 2 days?
Spekkaaahh, mum, 02

What was the reason you got in trouble last?
cos of text

What are you looking forward to?
the future? the past repeating itself, and my gut feelings being realised.

Who is your second missed call from?
my Solicitors

Are you missing someone right now?
My friends that are far from me

How's your heart lately?
I think I'Ve felt it move a couple of times in the past month :S

When was the last time you talked to your number 2?
What? who?

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?
yep

What are you currently hearing right now?
music - The Truth inside of me -ISC

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
yeah I got a few good friends that are female

What time did you get up this morning?
Noonish

Where will you be 2 hours from now?
probably here

What are you doing today?
trying to avoid doing things that I should really do

Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?
lean from my mistakes I have

Do you fall for people easily?
errrm... trying not to give a fuck

How has the week been?
good apart from being ill for most of it.

Have you talked to a complete asshole today?
no

Is there anything you would like to say to your ex?
not in particular

Are you comfortable answering all these personal questions?
mah

Do you think relationships are worth it?
yep, provided they're mutually beneficial, and true

If you could pack up and move, would you?
Yes

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
sort of

Interested in anyone at the moment?
I've got my eye on a few people, but they're probably bad for me (i.e. they're my 'type')

When was the last time you cried?
can't recall

Is there a fireplace in your house?
yes

Are you in a good mood right now?.
I'm not bad thanks

back

deathstardom@msn.com — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 00:03:16 GMT

Well I'm now sat in front of my computer a few miles south of Bleakpool.
The weekend was wicked, just what I needed to help prevent the inevitable on set of Cabin fever that has been slowly approaching.

A Massive Thanks and congratulations to Matt for tolerating my presence, and letting me stay round his for the Weekend, and for putting on an excellent show. Words seem to fall short of my gratitude.

It was brilliant to make some new friends and catch up with some old ones.

The Journey back took twice as long to get back home then it did to get there.
Although it wasn't all bad as I was introduced to some beutifull scenery that is along the A628. The scenery there is quite mind blowing, I' think I'm gonna have to go for a drive down there again,with time to take photos.

Can't think of much else to say at the moment (I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff but I've drawn a blank)

Honest

deathstardom@msn.com — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:41:48 GMT

I pride myself on being honest where my friends are concerned.
I believe that I am trustworthy, and will go to great lengths to make as many people happy as possible.

However there is one thing that I very rarely speak about with total sincerity or honesty, and that is about feelings of the heart.
The reason I am like this is for the purpose of damage control, not just for me, but also for my true friends.
It's not that I lie, I just don't tell the whole truth. As I don't want the people I care about thinking any less of me, and I don't want to jeopardise what I have, which is greatly appreciated.

Hating myself with style

My demons will always be here, they'll always love me. Waiting , patient, to take me in their arms again.
They hunger, I feed them, sacrifice, completely defeated.

On a different and completely unrelated note, Hulla hoops ( the crisps) are currently my taste of choice

confused

deathstardom@msn.com — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 01:25:20 GMT

here goes,I've been a bit Dr. Doom and gloom over the past few weeks or so, and whilst I'm not gonna shoot myself in the foot and say I'm over it, I would like to point out that I'm trying really trying to get a grip.

Unrelated?
We are all the sum of our parts/experiences friends, this thinking may be part of why I'm beginning to grasp something.
I am who I am because of those that I've met and have had an impact on my life, be it good bad or both (sometimes at the same time), and the way in which I have interacted with them.
The people that have come into my life and those that have left.
There doesn't seem to be much point chasing lost causes.
This isn't writing well probably doesn't read well but i dont really care at the moment, I'm tired I'm sore.

Anyway, what I'm trying to get at is that be it cosmic forces at play, sheer randomness or whatever, People come into your life and together we build each other, because we need people and it those particular people that you know and see. When you loose contact with one, or just drift away or sack you off, then their purpose, within your life, has been fulfilled. No point going after them unless they are still needed by you for the continued development of your personality.

shut up
you idiot no one wants to hear your stupid musings

Another day...

deathstardom@msn.com — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 21:33:59 GMT

Another swelling in my chest.
The pain it brings, quite exquisite, climaxing with the explosion that is mocked by my heart missing the beat. The main difference, that there is only trace amount of hemoglobin, greatly outgunned by puss and mucus.

My torso is being roasted in my own sweat, my brain on fire with the vast amount of electrical information passing from synapse to receptor, not dissimilar to a cartoon of clowns forming a chain of buckets, fighting in vain to put out the fire, with a lesser chance of interference or distortion.

Some say that the drugs don't work. I disagree, They were working fine, its merely the with-drawl that fucks everything up.
Feel too drained to smack my veins, crack my lungs or blow my brain.

Vampires are real. Not the blood sucking kind, but psychic and motivational ones. I know one or two of them.

The only thing that matters is the memories. After all that's all we are, right now.
Nothing else is real.

Sometimes..

deathstardom@msn.com — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 18:39:14 GMT

you just have to do something stupid. The weight of the world, the state of your life and all its crap. You just have to make a break for it and get away. Switch off the cortex, knock out the prefrontals and just go with it, because wherever it might lead, its bound to be more fun and certainly more interesting than where you were.
Of course the thing about the world, it's still waiting. Waiting with more crap than you could ever imagine.
Still Saturday should be fun

Regret

deathstardom@msn.com — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 03:41:26 GMT

Regret,its a funny old emotion.
I remember hearing ( i believe it was the intro to a song i enjoy) that its better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't.
Now I think that those are indeed wise words, and can honestly say that I've followed quite a bit.
However my dilema is, over the weekend I decided to do something that I might've ended up regretting (I'll call that A), however by me doing that meant that I missed out on doing something else (I'll call that B). I didn't realise that the oppertunity for B was going to arrive so I went for A. However given the chance I would've picked B over A. However, I feel that I've left not only myself dissapointed but there may well be another party that was slightly/greatly let down. So now I am left regreting not doing B!
Not quite sure how to put this... words tend to faill me:(
I think the question that is going through my head is: is it better to regret doing something that is less appreciated than not doing something that you would rather do?
Think I already know the answer.

Drugs are bad
but sometimes they are good

Think I'm gonna shut up now before I confuse myself and dwell too much upone what I missed out on.

good night